Not feeling the love surviving on my body's ability (inability?) to supplement HCG during my period. This is the first time that I have truly struggled not to eat...but I'm committed to this diet protocol and failure, quite frankly, is not an option.
On the plus side, I'm down another .9 lbs., bringing me into the double digits for a total loss of 10.7 lbs. and a very clear downward trend on my tracking graph.
An interesting thing happened yesterday. I met up with a couple of gal pals for lunch...at Agave in Newburyport, where the chef graciously prepared a lunch of naked grilled chicken, served on a bed of lettuce with chopped tomatoes and sliced cukes. Topped with a little lime juice and vinegar...I was quite happy.
Anyway, back to my pals. So, both noticed my just-shy-of-10-lbs. loss and were kind enough to comment, "You look great!" "Keep-doing-that-voo-doo-that-your-doing" type stuff. I'm all blushy and proud of myself, of course. Who wouldn't be? Yet, on my walk home, I couldn't help thinking, "Did/do I really look that bad?" And the answer is...drum roll please...YES!
Thing is, I've always fancied myself to be "all that and a bag of chips." Sad part is, the chips (a super-sized economy bag) have been living, unopened in my belly (you know, that fatty, icky area between your enormous hips and somewhat discernible waist) for god-knows-how-long.
So as the weight literally melts away (and I assure you, it is), I need to reassess my image of myself.
Fact: I've never been a slender person. Weight has been an issue for me since I had to wear "bloomers" in gym class.
Fact: I'm petite...diminutive...short. And even one pound looks like five.
Fact: I love food...and I'm a pretty darn good cook, too.
Fact: I have a pretty face...quick to smile...nice teeth...the only thing my Alzheimer ridden mother ever consistently remembers..."Oh, look, it's that girl with the nice teeth come to visit!"
Reality: I'll never be slender...too Rubenesque, but I'm cool with that.
Reality: I'll never be taller.
Reality: I'll always love food.
Reality: I do, in fact, have nice teeth.
And that leaves me here, on this crazy 500-calorie-a-day protocol, taking HCG drops like they are crack and positively giddy at how easy the pounds are dropping.
Causing most, no doubt, to pontificate, "They'll come right back once you start eating again." But, I realize that with the exception of increasing portions and rounding out the whole allowed vegetables/protein aspect, I am eating normally now.
In fact, I'm eating the way I should have been eating all along...and I know this. I'm friggin'-48-years-old for chrissakes. This isn't rocket science.
Fact: No one needs to eat McDonald's.
Fact: Deep fried foods are not good for you.
Fact: Cake is not a food group.
Fact: Now that I've gone a good week without these things, I don't miss them and I'm not graving them.
My goal, is to use this HCG protocol to drop some quick weight and rewire my mindset when it comes to food and food choices. Long way of saying...I'm thinking this could be the life change I needed.
Happily, today is Sunday. Baseball (ALDS series) and football (who doesn't love football?) to entertain me.
Be and eat well,
Jane Doh!
